Sarah Harte: Set the bar reasonably low when making new year’s resolutions
“Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
“We shall also reflect pleasantly upon how we did the same old thing last year about this time.”
A question for you: Who said this about new year’s resolutions?
The answer is Mark Twain, on January 1, 1863.
Mr Twain knew, just as you and I know, that resolutions are made to be broken.
My attitude to this is — so what? The temporal landmark is a much-needed opportunity to aim for a fresh start. Post-Christmas binge, there is a value, maybe even a necessity, to aspiring to be more ascetic.
Plus, there is something psychologically healthy about distancing yourself from your failures. I have no idea if I have a higher failure quotient rate than the average bear, but I know that as soon as January 1 rolls around, I feel deeply grateful for, and optimistic about, having another bite at the cherry.
But maybe new year’s resolutions should not simply focus on avoiding things such as sugar, wine, and social media, although that may be necessary. They should also involve adopting new habits and possibly thinking of someone other than simply yourself.
I’d say it’s wise to set the bar reasonably low, although I like to raise the bar a little higher than one friend, who told me that she resolved to moisturise her face every day. No reaching for the stars there. But who am I to judge?
My rough estimation is that I achieved approximately 50 % of last year’s resolutions. I kicked the habit of engaging with the news cycle 24/7 by imposing a watershed of 9.30pm but only occasionally managed to get out for a walk each day when there was still light. It is a work in progress, as they say.
So here are my new batch of resolutions.
We may be returning to a time when we need to focus on buying Irish. Given the economic shocks that may be heading our way thanks to US protectionism, we may have to, but let’s hit the pause button on that worrying thought for today.
The Guaranteed Irish campaign, established in 1974, celebrated its 50th anniversary in 2024.
It’s funny how, while a lot has changed, other things haven’t. In a Seanad debate in 1978, Senator Patrick Cooney lamented how textiles came through “devious routes from the Third World and landing upon our counters at very competitive and unmatchable prices”.
Now we have Shein and all those other sites from which cheap, dubiously-made clothes come before heading back to landfillsbecause it costs more to put returns back in circulation.
Throwaway fashion sucks. I spend a lot of my time window shopping online, gazing at clothes I can’t afford, as I have always loved fashion. I find, though, a very helpful exercise is to say to oneself, yup, I love this coat, dress, or pair of shoes, but realistically, I have enough, and how much will my life really be enhanced by owning this item of clothing?
Most times, that ‘I have to have it’ feeling fades pretty quickly.
We have to get better at blocking out aggressive marketing and algorithms that perpetuate the idea that we need to buy NOW and can’t wear anything repeatedly, not just for our own economy but for the environment, too. Plus, there’s something pretty empty about always running to fill a hole inside us that can’t ultimately be plugged by owning more stuff.
Buying Irish is easier now, as we can purchase lovely Irish-made clothes, do our duty, and not risk looking like we were ‘déanta in Éireann’ in stout, unfashionable leather shoes or scratchy jumpers, so let’s look out for the Guaranteed Irish sign.
I came across this concept of drains and radiators in an old speech former president Mary McAleese gave to an organisation I work for.
On the opening of a domestic violence refuge, she said she divided people into drains and radiators and that on that day, she was surrounded by radiators.
Radiators are people who contribute to a friendship or interaction and give something back. They are life-enhancing, positive people who share their interests and joy in life. Obviously, they have their own travails and challenges and can’t always have a glass half-full mentality, but generally, they make you feel better about life. They make you feel respected and valued, allowing you to be a better, more productive, and effective human.
On the other hand, drains drain you by taking more than they give.
They are poor listeners, more preoccupied with themselves, droning on about topics that aren’t of interest to you demanding one-way attention, leaving you feeling tired, dispirited and downbeat.
Sometimes, these people are in your life because the friendship has become a habit. These are the sorts of cats who ring you up to discuss their problems endlessly in a one-way process or only ring when they need something.
When you see their name flashing up, you think: ‘I wonder what they want now?’ Or, a major red flag, they instantly put you on the defensive.
I was very taken by this concept, and I think it’s perfectly legitimate as we get older to run a slide rule over our friendships and relationships and decide who generally adds to your life and who detracts.
If a person is perennially detracting, then they need to go. You can let somebody go and send them on their way with good wishes. It doesn’t need to be an ugly rupture. We have a finite amount of time on this earth, and it’s best to figure out how we want to use those precious units of time.
“Life isn’t a tidy life lesson… some things remain essentially unknowable, including other people.” How true.
So, here’s to 2025; let’s do this, guys.
