#Farming Columnist - Denis Lehane

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#Farming Columnist - Denis Lehane

Lighten Up

A COMPREHENSIVE SERIES OF ARTICLES ON THIS TOPIC

<p>Two astronauts join Denis on the farm, in this week's Lighten Up.</p>

farming

Denis Lehane: On the farm with Suni and Butch

Two astronauts join Denis on the farm, in this week's Lighten Up.

Lighten Up: 'James Bond' producers look to West Cork

Lighten Up: A special family connection

Jockey on Horse at Race

farming

Riding a winner at Cheltenham

Denis Lehane: Farm love, the impossible rural dream

farming

Moo-d Music: Classy cows go wild for Marty in the Morning

Cow's nose pokes through a gate

farming

Talking bull - the curious tale of the talking bullock

Macro Close-up Smiling Eye with Wrinkles

Auld Lehane and the secrets of eternal youth

Denis says his problems with all this anti-ageing malarkey began many years ago when he worked as a cattle drover at a local mart, in this week's Lighten Up.

Sun, 16 Feb, 2025

Close up shot of man and woman toasting and drinking red wine from glasses on dinner

Valentine's Day: Denny Lehane's ten tips for farmers

For those dreading the big day, your favourite Farming columnist, Denis Lehane, has pieced together a few handy tips to help us get over the line.

Sat, 08 Feb, 2025

Cute Black Labrador 6-month old Puppy Looking at the Camera Wearing a Blue "Cone of Shame" in a Wire Cage, Recovering from Surge

Lighten Up: Balls to bad reception

Poor Rover, he had fun things removed from one end and a funnel attached to the other.

Sat, 01 Feb, 2025

Person pushing a wheelbarrow filled with black asphalt on a gravel path, suggesting construction or landscaping work.

Denis Lehane: New year, new wheelbarrow

Denis's old wheelbarrow had been on its last legs for some time, he writes in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 18 Jan, 2025

Legs view of happy family wearing warm socks in front of fireplace - Winter, love and cozy concept - Focus on center grey woolen

Denis Lehane: Warm books on cold nights

Keeping warm the past few weeks has been a mammoth task but here in West Cork we managed it in our own unique way

Tue, 14 Jan, 2025

Male Businessman Peering Through Magnifying Glass

The Magnum PI of Irish farming

Our Denis is ready for his next case in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 04 Jan, 2025

Warrior wearing iron helmet and red cloak.

The Gladiator of Kilmichael

Denis is striding through the fields like Maximus Decimus Meridius, in wellington boots, this week.

Sat, 30 Nov, 2024

Agricultural robots work in smart farms, Robot spraying fertilizer on corn fields, Smart agriculture farming concept.

Robot farming in West Cork

Finally our Denis can say "Hasta la vista, baby!" to hard work in this week's Lighten Up.

Mon, 18 Nov, 2024

French beef stew in red wine known as daube de boeuf Provencal closeup in the wooden tray. Horizontal

Lighten Up: Trump needs Irish beef to make America great again (again)

Now, with his seat in the Oval Office as secure as my granny's seat by the fire, is our chance as Irish farmers to get out there and convince Trump that a healthy America is one that dines on Irish beef, writes Denis Lehane.

Sat, 09 Nov, 2024

Elderly couple at home

Canoodling crisis in rural Ireland

"I have my passport. I have my rosary beads. I have 16 pairs of underpants and the bachelor's letter, of course, to explain my reasons for going."

Sat, 02 Nov, 2024

Fertility testing dairy cattle

Lighten Up: Farmer confusion as 'AI man' wins Nobel Prize

Farming columnist Denis Lehane says he couldn't be happier to hear the 'AI man' has won the Nobel Prize, in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 19 Oct, 2024

FBL-ENG-ENTERTAINMENT-99

Lighten Up: Farmin' it like Beckham

I read somewhere that David Beckham and his good lady wife Posh Spice recently purchased a mansion in Miami for $60m dollars, give or take. An impressive sum, it has to be said.

Sun, 13 Oct, 2024

Denis Lehane: Ireland needs a farmer for Eurovision

Denis Lehane: Ireland needs a farmer for Eurovision

Europe is sick and tired of all the Bambie Thugs and Jedwards we have been pushing their way. They are looking for an alternative. And I believe a farmer could be that alternative

Fri, 04 Oct, 2024

Land owner sleeping on his land

Denis Lehane: €13bn Apple money should be spent on beds for farmers

Our Farming columnist Denis Lehane has hatched a plan for how farmers could spend Apple's €13bn in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 28 Sep, 2024

Alcohol Drink In Airplane

Could the two-drink flying limit really take off?

A passenger on a plane needs a drink like a suckler calf needs a bucket of milk replacer, writes our Farming columnist Denis Lehane.

Mon, 16 Sep, 2024

Denis Lehane: I'm Ireland's answer to Kevin Costner

Denis Lehane: I'm Ireland's answer to Kevin Costner

They are anxious to make a movie about my life out here in the rough lands of Kilmichael, with Robert Redford rumoured to star in the epic

Mon, 09 Sep, 2024

Riding a bike with bare foot.

Urban cowboys: Cónal Creedon and Denis Lehane head to the mart

All I do know is that the nudists got their photo opportunity, and urban farmers could be next, writes Denis Lehane in this week's Lighten Up.

Mon, 02 Sep, 2024

Denis Lehane: The silage that smelt of Roses

Denis Lehane: The silage that smelt of Roses

As if by magic, down the road came this glamorous-looking bus filled with beautiful Roses from all over the world to help out this forlorn farmer, writes Denis Lehane

Sun, 25 Aug, 2024

Denis Lehane: With Tom Cruise jumping off buildings at 62, what chance do us farmers have of taking early retirement?

Denis Lehane: With Tom Cruise jumping off buildings at 62, what chance do us farmers have of taking early retirement?

The only thing sustaining me is the thought of my pension. There will be nothing of the kind, if Cruise doesn't slow down

Sat, 17 Aug, 2024

Denis Lehane: Hats off to Indiana Jones' auction

Denis Lehane: Hats off to Indiana Jones' auction

In a crazy world, where one man's garbage can become another man's prized possession, there will probably be great pomp and ceremony when the hat finally arrives in the sales ring

Sun, 11 Aug, 2024

Athlete Hand Holding Up Bunch of Gold Medals Blue Sky

If farming was an Olympic sport, I'd win gold

If mending broken fences or dragging full buckets of milk across a yard was an Olympic sport, our Denis says he would come home with gold.

Sat, 27 Jul, 2024

Harvesting Potatoes

Denis Lehane: A fortune at our feet

Denis' new venture will not only put money in your pocket, but a spring in your step.

Sat, 20 Jul, 2024

Old man's eye after cornea surgical operation and air bubble

Denis Lehane: I've eyes wide open to cataract cutback

Here in West Cork, the now famous 'Belfast or Blind' bus been giving countless numbers of people access to vital cataract surgery for years, writes Farming columnist Denis Lehane.

Sat, 13 Jul, 2024

black old TV with static on screen

Denis Lehane: RTÉ heads to the country

It all went wrong when RTÉ turned its back on 'Glenroe', writes Farming columnist Denis Lehane.

Sat, 06 Jul, 2024

Airline pilots are really silage contractors of the sky

Airline pilots are really silage contractors of the sky

In the olden days, the pilot was worshipped - just like the farmer. One was a hero of the sky, the other a god on the ground, writes Farming columnist Denis Lehane in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 29 Jun, 2024

Abandoned farmhouse in remote countryside

Could Den's farm rock to Taylor Swift?

Our Denis reckons he could be Cork's answer to Lord Henry Mount Charles... if only someone would back him.

Sat, 22 Jun, 2024

PORTUGAL-US-MUSIC-CELEBRITY

Lighten Up: Taylor Swift, where's me ticket?

Without wanting to panic the nation, the Taylor Swift concert is just around the corner, and our Farming columnist Denis Lehane is yet to receive my concert ticket.

Sat, 15 Jun, 2024

Denis Lehane: Dunmanway goes Intergalactic

Denis Lehane: Dunmanway goes Intergalactic

I was only in town to pay a ration bill and had never intended to be a spokesperson for planet earth, writes Farming columnist Denis Lehane.

Sat, 08 Jun, 2024

Exam cheating rises

Denis Lehane: The Leaving Cert needs to lighten up

With everyone wanting to be the next Tony O'Reilly or Mary Robinson, the Leaving Cert has taken on a life of its own.

Mon, 03 Jun, 2024

Black and white Bus stop sign

Denis Lehane: A bus run for rural love

All aboard our Denis' love bus...

Sat, 25 May, 2024

Directions to UK polling station

Hello, election poster. Goodbye, pothole

Our Denis reckons he has the key to topping the electoral polls, in this week's Lighten Up.

Wed, 22 May, 2024

Bruce Springsteen And The E Street Band Perform At The Kia Forum

Denis Lehane: Springsteen's Glory Days in West Cork

It was up in Kilkenny many moons ago that I saw Bruce in concert, writes Farming columnist Denis Lehane in this week's Lighten Up.

Sat, 11 May, 2024

using a laptop in a cafe

There's only one Cónal Creedon

One would have to wonder how difficult it must be for the other Denis Lehane when mistaken for me, ponders Irish Examiner Farming columnist Denis Lehane.

Wed, 01 May, 2024

Winter snowfall in the Brecon Beacons, Wales, UK

Denis Lehane: Outwintered animals are as sought-after as tickets to see Taylor Swift

The drums of Kilmichael did beat for the missing cattle

Tue, 30 Apr, 2024

EU referendum

Lighten Up: Our high flyer heads to Gigginstown

I will be heading Gigginstown on Saturday. If you should see me there, please give me a wide berth. I won't have time for aimless chitchat. I will be there on business.

Sun, 14 Apr, 2024

Raining Day in Dubai

Rain in Dubai, sunshine in Dunmanway

Our old pal Denis tries to escape the rain for a couple of days.

Sat, 13 Apr, 2024

Men Wearing Boots - Stock Photo

Lighten Up: Kate Winslet's message to Irish farmers

Kate Winslet had another secret reason for her recent trip to Cork, reveals Irish Examiner satire writer Denis Lehane.

Sun, 07 Apr, 2024

Baby calves feeding

Lighten Up: The Oscar goes to the calf rearer

If you want to see real pressure, look at a farmer today without a cow and attempting to make a living off the dairy calf, writes Farming columnist Denis Lehane.

Sun, 24 Mar, 2024

95th Annual Academy Awards - Red Carpet

Lighten Up: From Golden Oscars to Golden Wonders

Like the mart in many ways, only with a little more razzmatazz - our Denis enjoys a night with the stars.

Sun, 17 Mar, 2024

Nuclear explosion, mushroom-shaped cloud of exploding atomic bomb. Radioactive fire flames, atom bang. Nuke energy, power, deton

Lighten Up: Oppenheimer made a farm of my bomb-site

Turns out there's a few quid to be made for a cunning entrepreneurial agricultural fella making his way into the aul blockbuster game, writes farming satire writer Denis Lehane.

Sun, 03 Mar, 2024

Brown & white Herefordshire bull

My Angus now 'identifies' as a Hereford

Denis' Hereford bullock has been the pride of his farm since he bought him last year.

Sat, 24 Feb, 2024

cuttings

Kanye West... The greatest farming tool in the world

Kanye West has recently had his teeth replaced with metal dentures... always quick to spot an opportunity, Farming columnist Denis Lehane gives his take.

Sat, 17 Feb, 2024

RTE Campus

Denis Lehane: I'm selling the farm to RTÉ for a big sack of money

Is beloved Farming columnist Denis Lehane really about to quit farming for good?

Tue, 13 Feb, 2024

Love Letters tied with a Red Ribbon

Denis Lehane: I would dearly love a half dozen round bales of silage for Valentine's Day

Might I suggest we dispense with all the cards and instead give the farmer in your life something more suited to his wants and desires

Mon, 05 Feb, 2024