Cork Tiktok star: ‘I felt worthless in care but rap saved my life’
'It’s a strong person who can express their feelings': Aaron Murphy who raps under the name Rebel, in the M5 sound studio at Nicholas Well Lane, Cork. Picture: Larry Cummins
A former foster child has told how rapping about the difficulties he faced in State care — including being separated from his siblings and never sitting any State exams — “saved my life”.
Aaron Murphy, aged 18, from the Glen in Cork, has been slowly building a fan base on TikTok over the past two years.
He turned to the popular social media platform when he left care and since then some of his tracks have been viewed more than 100,000 times.
The teenager has compared being in foster care from the age of 9 until he was 16 to “like being in prison” and his music has resulted in him receiving dozens of messages of support from other foster children.
Aaron, who raps under the name of Rebel writes about Tusla and the child protection system as well as his family and how he wants to give a voice to children in care.
Speaking to the , Aaron said he was described as a gifted storyteller in school but never sat his Junior Cert or Leaving Cert despite being in foster care.
“I started putting stuff on TikTok two years ago and building up a fan base,” he said. “It was a good expression for me, a release and my music is about life in care and care leavers and how fucking terrible it was.
“I get loads of messages every day from people in care telling me their experiences. I try to answer their questions, and I have a good connection with people.
“The music helped me and picked me up when I was feeling low, when I had nobody, I had music” he said.
The lyrics on one of his tracks, , includes a powerful verse about feeling trapped and isolated in care.
He raps: “Sometimes I want to run away, sometimes I want to cry, sometimes I feel like I’m losing the person that’s inside.
“Social workers treat me like a kid and tell me to be a man, am I kid or a man? You decide what’s the plan.
“And I don’t know how I’m feeling and if I talked about it, you’d probably set up a stupid meeting and ask questions like how’s your sleep and eat but never heard my feelings… I don’t want your stupid meetings”.
The gifted artist said he put his camera on one day and began rapping to some of his favourite music including the late American artist Tupac Shakur, and it went from there.
“I always loved expressing my feelings on paper,” Aaron said. “It was something I liked doing and it feels amazing, very satisfying and helpful.
“It is an escape for me and when I die my music will live on — that is something I can leave behind in the world when I live my life, and I can pass it on to my children and future generations”.
Latest figures from Tusla show at the end of December 2024, there were 5,823 children in care and of those 5,077 (87%) were in a foster care placement.
At the end of Q4 2024 there were 2,935 young people/adults in receipt of an aftercare service and of these, 166 (8%) were in a residential placement.
Of the 5,823 children in care 543 (9%) were in a residential care placement.
There is no statutory requirement on the State to provide care for children in the system after they turn 18.
The previously highlighted the story of former foster child Áine Gough Forde, who said she was “thrown on the scrap heap” by Tusla when she turned 18.
Áine, who suffers with anorexia and self-harm, said she was unable to attend college in order to stay in the aftercare system — where she would receive accommodation and an allowance — because she was “too ill”.
Aaron said he never sat any exams despite being in foster care until he was 16 years old and could not secure a place in the aftercare system — because the criteria includes being in full-time education. He said:
“But I couldn’t do one, I didn’t even do secondary school, so now I am homeless. I live with a friend but it’s temporary. That’s the reality of care, I have no place of my own.”
Aaron grew up in the Glen, where he attended primary school before being taken into care at the age of nine and separated from his siblings.
“I went to St Mark’s Boys’ School in the Glen from junior infants to Confirmation,” he said.
“I did first year and a bit of second year in Glanmire Community College, but I didn’t get any further with that. I was moved around so much in care I didn’t do any state exams.
“I just remember being taken away and it was so hard with that first foster family, I didn’t like it at all, and I got moved after three years and then they kept moving me”.
Aaron said he didn’t write his first song until he was 14 years old. he was a talented footballer for Leeds AFC in Cork before he swapped his boots for his microphone.
“I was a striker,” he said, “I had the same level of skill with football as I have with rapping.
“I was a really good footballer but things just went wrong in life and I didn’t get to go after that dream.
“I got a chance to play for the FAI youth cup, but I didn’t go because I wasn’t accommodated in care to do that.”
During his time in the foster care system, Aaron said he was moved more than eight times between foster families and residential units all over the country.
“I’ve been in care in Killarney, Kerry, Wexford, Mullingar, Drogheda, and Dublin and was put into emergency care. They tried to send me to Donegal but I begged them not to — it was too far away.
“It was a headwreck overall and sometimes I went home and that didn’t work out and I was back in care. When I left care, I was homeless.
"I felt some of the carers, especially in the residential units, just harassed us. It’s just not a nice place.
“I didn’t get the supports I needed and life in care was not good.
“I missed my family all the time. I missed my mother, and we have a good relationship. I just felt like I was in prison with social workers, they wouldn’t listen to me.
“It was soul-destroying so now I speak about what it did to me. It’s in the music.
“I want to give a voice to children in care”.
Aaron is working on this first album and is with a small label called Eurobeats Money Music in Cork. His influences include British grime rapper Skepta and American rappers Juice WRLD, Eminem, and Dr Dre.
His Irish influences include Dublin rapper Alex Sheehan aka Eskimo Supreme.
“They are all storytellers like me, and I have a good following,” he said.
“I have no gigs yet, because I’m working on an album and hoping someone will give me a hand.
“There are plenty of Irish rappers there too. I just want to tell people to speak up and get your problems off your shoulders.
“For me I am telling people what I went through and what is going on behind closed doors and that is about being brave and I tell people not to hold on to their pain. It’s a release for me and it is reaching people.
“I was holding in all my problems and it made me miserable now this helps, and it is helping others”.
A spokesperson for Tusla said: “Foster care offers children who cannot live with their parents the opportunity to continue to live within a family environment. Foster care offers the opportunity for safe, stable and loving homes for children, and this is our priority for children who are in alternative care.
“Ideally Tusla will endeavour to place siblings in a foster placement together. However, this can be challenging as it will be dependent on whether there is a suitable foster home with sufficient space. Tusla are actively recruiting foster carers for individual children and sibling groups across the country.”
In terms of aftercare, the spokesperson said: “The agency is committed to maintaining support to care leavers by providing programmes which enable young people to adequately prepare for leaving care and ensure they receive consistent support.
“Tusla’s aftercare service provides a range of services for eligible young people from the ages of 18 to 21 (or 23 if the young person is in full time education or accredited training).”
