I'm the director of the Happiness Lab, here are my expert tips on how to be happy

A new survey found that Americans in that age group are happier than their younger counterparts because, Zillmer surmises, they are more likely to have sorted things out and are feeling comfortable with themselves.

It’s also worth mentioning that the United States is one of the few countries that has written the right to the pursuit of happiness — along with the right to life and liberty — into its constitution.

Indeed, Zillmer is talking to Weekend from a building just five blocks away from the spot where Thomas Jefferson, the third US president, inserted the concept of happiness into the Declaration of Independence in 1776.

Scholars argue over what Jefferson meant by that — it’s a fascinating discussion in itself — but the main reason Zillmer, a neuropsychologist, musician, and stroke survivor, studies happiness is to apply it to himself.

“I’m very selfish. I want to have a meaningful rest of my life,” he says, although as the chat unfolds it is clear that he is anything but.

As a professor of neuropsychology, he has spent a lifetime studying what goes wrong with people. He has written books on people who commit crimes and he teaches abnormal psychology. He is still interested in that field but during the covid pandemic, he decided to focus on the positive.

“We have a long history of measuring unhappiness, depression, anxiety, hopelessness. I said, why not study the opposite — what’s good about people.”

Positive psychology is the evidence-based study of happiness and, despite the common perception, it is not new; its roots go back to the ancient Greek philosophers Aristotle and Epicurus.

So what makes us happy? And how do you measure it?

The UN-sponsored World Happiness Report uses a variety of indicators (self-assessed evaluations of life satisfaction, GDP per capita, social support, health, life expectancy, freedom, corruption, work/life balance) to assess levels of happiness around the world.

Last year, Ireland ranked as the 17th happiest nation on earth (down from 14th the previous year) while Finland came out on top for the seventh year in a row. The reason? Prof Zillmer believes that connectivity, a sense of community and a feeling that you are backed by society help to explain the Nordic country’s elevated levels of happiness.

He might joke about being selfish in his own pursuit of wellbeing but, he says, happiness is not a selfish thing: “When you create a community and have interactions with other people, the value of your life really starts increasing.”

On an individual level, he says, it is really important to focus on the positive. “I know from psychological research, a lot of people look at themselves and focus on their deficits. Especially when you look at research on body image. We look at the part of our body we like least. 

Why don’t we look at our life and what we like best about ourselves?

Speaking of deficits, or perceived ones, he says he was gobsmacked when he heard multiple grand slam-winner Roger Federer say in a 2024 Dartmouth College commencement speech that he won almost 80% of his singles matches — but only 54% of points.

“Wow,” says Zillmer. “That means he lost 46%. Well, it makes sense. You win the important points, you win the game.

“It is the same in life. But if we lose 46% of all of our points in life, most people would feel like a failure, so you have to put things into perspective.”

His own outlook changed after he retired from his role as athletic director at Drexel University in 2021. For the first time, he spoke publicly about having a left-hemisphere stroke at the age of 19 that left him with issues with spelling and language.

He says he still has some issues, but he learned to use those difficulties to build and sharpen his own resilience.

Born in Japan in 1956, his family later moved to Germany. He grew up in Garmisch-Partenkirchen as an “army brat,” a term Zillmer says he wore as a badge of honour because the moves, stressors, and various cultural experiences made the children of military families more resilient.

He didn’t realise, then, that the dizzy spell he experienced during a high-school basketball game and the subsequent coma and week in hospital at the age of 19, would play such a crucial role in shaping the kind of resilience that would serve him for the rest of his life.

He had his stroke at a time when CT scans were not widely available, so it went undiagnosed. He was sent home and told to eat less ice cream.

Post-stroke, he found that he had verbal difficulties so instead focused on things that came naturally to him — music, sports (he was a first responder in the Austrian Alps as a member of the National Ski Patrol), photography, and art. When he moved to the States, he focused on his strengths.

I’m a successful academic, but I’m not the smartest in the room. I am the one who has the most perseverance and the most passion.

“And this comes from my athletic background, because I’ll just try harder.”

He never spoke about his stroke. Indeed, he didn’t even realise he had suffered one until, decades later, he was writing the second edition of his textbook, Principles of Neuropsychology.

To avoid copyright issues, friends in one of the local hospitals took an MRI of his brain; he planned to use the image on the book’s cover.

It was only then that the telltale sign of his stroke — a 1.5cm “hole” in the left posterior frontal lobe — was discovered. Everything started to make sense.

Now, he is willing to talk about his experience to challenge stigma and show that it is possible to overcome challenges by focusing on what you are good at, rather than homing in on your deficits.

The conversation moves on to a wide range of topics: the importance of having a psychological as well as a physical toolkit, how believing in a higher power (whatever it is) brings ease because it makes people feel they are part of something bigger, and the joy of being tech-free (the Happiness Lab, for instance, has no technology).

But what does this man, described as a thought-leader on the psychology of happiness, most want to tell the rest of the world about happiness?

That it is within our grasp.

“We were not born unhappy; we became so. Happiness is also cumulative; it adds up,” he says.

“When you engage in several happy activities, the sum is greater than the parts. And, it is contagious.”

Dr Zillmer's top tips to boost happiness 

Be more optimistic

A positive attitude serves as a survival tool — optimistic people cope better with adversity, even when faced with serious challenges, and they tend to live longer and happier lives. Optimism is a resilience skill, where one believes that adversity is temporary and that better times are ahead.

Little things matter

Being friendly to a stranger, checking on your neighbour, going for a short walk, watering your plants, taking a nap, reading a book, making a good cup of coffee, sitting with your pet, spending unstructured time with your loved ones — all of these activities add up.

Go outside more

As members of the Happiness Lab, Prof Zillmer and his colleagues always get asked some variation of “Tell me one thing that will make me happier right now?” Their answer: “Go outside.” The happiest and longest-living communities in the world — in areas known as Blue Zones — spend time living, eating and working outside.

Live in the moment

It is the opposite of happiness to live in the past with regrets, or to look ahead, with anxieties of the future. In the present, you’re grounded and can really feel alive.

Be more social

If there’s one vital ingredient for a happier life, it’s connectivity. Humans are undoubtedly the most social species. The pandemic has taught us that social isolation is no fun. Consider your neighbours and colleagues as part of a community; reach out to check on how they’re doing and recognise the importance of trusting one another and staying connected.

Keep things simple

Those who live the longest do everything in moderation. They take breaks during the day and manage their world by taking action, for example, by caring for something or someone. They focus on the positive side of life. And they are grateful.

Walk more

Walking is often undervalued as a physical activity, yet every step offers a high return on investment. It is low impact, doesn’t require gym membership, can be enjoyed in groups, provides excellent exercise and can be relished outdoors.

Take on a plant

Students at the Happiness Lab are asked to pick a plant and keep it alive for the semester. Why? Because, as the students themselves say, “Dr Z, you want us to learn how to take care of something, and by doing so, we learn to take care of ourselves.”