I went to a rage room for a girls’ day out — here's why it's popular among women

Our reasons for attending varied from a stressful work week to a recently disastrous date, but we were shortly united in our fury, destroying everything in sight.

The idea for the outing came from TikTok, where videos of people, primarily groups of young women, inside rage rooms are trending. “This is your sign to go to a rage room with your best friends (it’s cheaper than therapy),” one video with 6.6m views is captioned. “Your soul needed this rage room,” another with 3.1m views is captioned.

As I threw yet another beer bottle in the air readying the baseball bat in my other hand to shatter it, I must admit that my soul felt pretty good.

I’m not often in touch with rage — I’m much more well-acquainted with other emotions like stress, sadness, and anxiety. But less than five minutes into my session, I felt pure anger as I eyed up the hammers and bats on the wall, choosing which would best smash a 24-inch television. My friends clearly felt the same release, too, as nervous giggles and chat soon turned into silence and focus as we demolished our targets.

Largely female clientele

Lukas Baltrusis, owner of Rage Room Ireland, says his main clientele is female. “Women seem to have a special talent for controlled destruction. Our female visitors bring passion and precision.”

By this, it’s clear that female fury is lucrative, at €35 per person per 20-minute session. While we feel anger the same as our male counterparts, there are fewer spaces to express it.

There is a fear of coming across as ‘hostile’ or ‘bitchy’ if anger is demonstrated in everyday life. A 2008 study at Harvard titled Can an Angry Woman Get Ahead? ’(https://gap.hks.harvard.edu/can-angry-woman-get-ahead-status-conferral-gender-and-expression-emotion-workplace) found that displays of anger in the workplace were admired in men but deemed to threaten credibility and career progress in women. It’s no wonder women are flocking to spaces where their anger is accepted and celebrated.

The group activity part of the rage room, says Baltrusis, has been a huge pull for customers. “We see a lot of group bookings — friends, work teams, birthdays, and even date nights. While some people come alone for a personal stress-relief session, many enjoy sharing the experience with others, making it a fun, social activity.”

My session truly felt like a bonding experience — it’s not often you get to cheer on your best friend launching a jam jar at a wall. Plus, the activity was very much catered to us, with a ‘girl anthems’ playlist playing. The music, paired with the satisfaction of doing something I’m not allowed to do anywhere else, made the experience frighteningly enjoyable, so much so that I considered booking a solo session for the next time I feel pent up.

My experience highlights the fine line between attending a rage room as a harmless activity with others or using it as your go-to for handling challenging emotions. Baltrusis says he sees many individuals looking for a “unique and unconventional” way to unwind.

Smashing glass cannot substitute for emotional regulation — whether you’re male or female, in a group or doing it solo. In my session, what felt great at the moment didn’t bash away the problems I had before entering — they were still waiting for me at the door. Mental health research suggests that the act of venting your anger in this way doesn’t always result in catharsis or relief but instead can worsen the emotion for some. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/anger-rooms-do-they-offer-relief-or-reinforce-bad-behavior

No alternative to therapy

Psychotherapist Yasmine Coakley explains that anger is a secondary emotion fuelled by other emotions like shame or sadness.

“Someone with anger issues may have grown up being told that emotions like sadness were weak, in turn making anger feel powerful and strong,” she says.

“For those struggling with anger issues who have become violent or destructive, visiting a rage room would only reinforce negative ways of coping.”

Although Rage Room Ireland uses the tagline “cheaper than therapy” on its website as a marketing tool, when chatting with Baltrusis, he backs up Coakley’s statement: 

Rage rooms are great for stress relief and a fun way to let off steam, but we’re not a substitute for therapy.

Coakley suggests long-term solutions to handling anger that will yield better results: “Seeking out a good therapist and using a range of modalities like talk therapy, breath-work, and somatic work so the person can learn to regulate their nervous system. Allowing a full range of all emotions without harbouring shame and so on. Psycho-education and learning communication skills will also play a pivotal role in helping to manage long-term anger issues.”

Taking a sledgehammer to a stereo is an opportunity that does not often come by and one I must admit I enjoyed.

However, I won’t be swapping therapy sessions for a slot in the rage room.

My word of advice? Rage with caution.