Cian Griffin: I cried going to bed so often as a teenager, like ‘I hope I wake up straight’

Growing up in Wicklow, Griffin says he always loved the spotlight and entertaining, until he started to feel different from his peers, and began to switch off that part of himself.

“It was like ‘I know I’m different, I don’t know why, I don’t want to draw attention to it’. So I kind of went in on myself and became very shy and
awkward as a young teen,” he says.

“There was a lot of trouble in terms of my identity, self-love and acceptance. I cried going to bed so often in my teenage years, just like ‘I hope I wake up straight.’

“Desperately wanting to fit in kind of screwed me up a bit.” 

Griffin began to come out in fourth year, but waited longer to tell many people close to him. Now, he feels miles away from the shy, scared child he was, having amassed over 20k followers on an account which, among other things, focuses on his LGBTQ+ identity.

The @gaylgeori concept started as a radio show at UCD with a friend when he was there studying English and Irish. But when his friend moved away, he decided to continue using the show’s Instagram account.

The account combines Griffin’s love of the Irish language with queer culture, and simply living life as a gay man. The latter, he says, is one of the most important parts of the page.

“The stuff I post is not serious, but I guess the medium is the message. Not to turn this into a TED talk, but everything I do is to inspire, educate and entertain. I try doing it in a way that’s not high and mighty, that’s just good craic.

“Obviously I’ve got a platform to talk about important issues, but a huge part of what I try to do in sharing random photos from my life is mundane representation. Like me and my friends on a night out being gay and dressing how we want. Just existing. That was missing when we were growing up.”

Representation in all areas is important, says Griffin, not least the sporting world.

“A huge part of my upbringing would have been helped by more out athletes,” he says.

Griffin’s GAA club, na Gaeil Aeracha is helping to change this. As Ireland’s first LGBTQ+ GAA club, he says things like training in the Phoenix Park is powerful for representation.

“I can’t emphasise how life-changing it is to meet all these people. It’s wild when I think back on my teen years when I only knew one or two gay people.

“I’m sure statistically we’ve played against teams with closeted gay guys, so that is so important.”

The 29-year-old adds that he feels it is important to have queer spaces that aren’t tied to nightlife and alcohol.

I had gay acquaintances from the culture of going out, but I really found my tribe in NGA. It’s just so refreshing to be with gay people in a sober setting.

“It’s terrifying walking up to your first training. For a lot of gay people, sport evokes PTSD from childhood. But everyone is so lovely. It’s the best decision you’ll ever make. I’ve got a lot more than just football from the group.”

Griffin also felt welcomed by the Irish-speaking community. Though he didn’t grow up in an Irish-speaking household, he enjoyed studying the subject in school, and trips to the Gaeltacht only furthered his passion.

“Because none of my friends or family at home had Irish, I was able to privately yet publicly explore my sexuality through Gaylgeoiri, the radio show, and be really openly gay, knowing it would never get back to my English-speaking life until I was ready to mould those two circles together.” 

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Griffin says he owes a lot to the Irish language, and he’s glad to see more young people show interest recently. He adds that events like Seachtain na Gaeilge – which now extends well beyond a single week – help with this.

“Obviously, Gaeilge is happening all year round but I think it’s good to have a dedicated time that focuses on giving learners and people with that interest an opportunity to actually speak and learn it. I notice with my non-Irish speaking friends they’ll make an effort to throw in a word or two. It’s a great start.” 

He points out that Irish language music, podcasts and TV shows are also making a big difference.

This includes his recent appearance on Grá ar an Trá which returned to Virgin Media One last week for its second season. In November the dating show was pulled just days
before it was due to air following host Gráinne Seoige’s shock announcement she was running for the Dáil. The show encountered more issues when it emerged one of the contestants had been convicted over an assault on a woman in 2022 – he was removed from the final edit. For Griffin, his appearance on the show was all about being a good representation for the queer community.

“I went in there wanting to show Gaeilge as a modern language… and also be a good representative for the LGBTQ+ community.

“But I also went in wanting to make good TV.” he admits. “As much as I enjoyed season one, it was very Kumbaya, ‘we’re all best friends’. I want there to be a bit more drama. That’s what people love about reality TV.

“I’ve always had an interest in the entertainment industry but I’ve gotten my foot in the door because of speaking Irish. It’s a very supportive community.” 

Not content with TV, Griffin also has podcast and radio roles on the go. His podcast, First Things First, does exactly what it says on the tin.

“I ask about your first kiss, first job, first time experiencing loss. It’s a mix of funny stories, and vulnerability.” 

The first series includes drag queens, TV presenters, actors, activists, and even Leo Varadkar. “The gay community is small in Dublin,” he says of getting the former Taoiseach on the pod.

“I know his boyfriend, he played NGA briefly. And one of my friends who is involved in politics and worked with Leo owed me a favour. So I said, ‘get Leo on my podcast!’ But he was happy to do it. I was impressed by that. It was really fun and I’m really shocked by how much people opened up.” 

The second season will air later this year, but before that, you can listen out for Griffin on 98fm.

“For the month of April I’ll have my own show on Sunday evenings. It’ll be queer orientated, speckled with Gaeilge.” 

From reality TV to radio, it’s clear that Griffin is ambitious and has a plan for his blossoming career.

“I work part-time in content for a start-up but my dream is to be doing TV, radio and podcasting full-time.

“Also I’ve written an LGBTQ+ coming-of-age fiction novel, based around the marriage referendum,” he says. “I’m trying to find a literary agent.”

• Grá ar an Trá is available on Virgin Media Play. Cian Griffin’s radio show on 98FM airs Sundays, 8 - 9pm from April

Cian’s chat-up lines as gaeilge...

An Jacob an t-ainm atá ort? Mar is CRACKER tú…

Is your name Jacob? Because you’re a cracker!

Tá mo bheola pianmhar. An bpógfá iad?

My lips are sore, will you kiss them better?

Is breá liom do chulaith ach bheadh cuma níos fearr air ar úrlár mo sheomrasa!

I like your outfit, but it would look better on my bedroom floor!

Breathnaíonn tú an-chosúil le mo chéad bhuachaill eile.

You really look like my next boyfriend.