I tried the Ireland's Fittest Family course and was covered in bruises for two weeks

On a (thankfully) dry day, I merrily made my way down to the To Hell and Back course in Kilruddery, county Wicklow to get a taste of what the contestants of Ireland’s Fittest Family face competing on the popular show. Running and jumping through tyres, clambering over the Eliminator, attempting to climb up a ten-foot wall, sliding down what I was told is called a rat tunnel and running up a vertical ramp - or attempting to do so... I needed help with every obstacle.

According to Sport Ireland, just 15% of children reach the recommended movement guidelines of an hour of moderate to vigorous activity per day. Sports participation sits at 96% for primary and 84% in post-primary school, but there remains a significant drop in that statistic for girls once they reach secondary school.

In my own memory of secondary school, PE was a cop-out class. Some enthused teachers would pull out badminton nets and shuttle-cocks to encourage teamwork and exercise. Others would take us on a walk around Dundalk town to get us moving in the crisp autumn air. There was a gym area consisting of a few machines which we weren’t allowed to touch until fifth year, but by sixth year, physical education was scrapped altogether in favour of an extra academic class.

Finding a grá for movement in my late teenage and adult years, I’m overtly aware of the mental and physical benefits of it. So taking on the course felt like a way to challenge the stereotype.

I was in for a shock on the first obstacle when my balance threw me right off course while trying to navigate the tyre zone. Running through tyres seems like an easy feat until you try it. With the ground freshly reset from a muddy week, the uneven terrain didn’t help the case.

The next obstacle was called Squeezy Does It, which involves squeezing through a thin gap between sets of tyres. In all of my confidence about flying through this obstacle course, I didn’t take into account that I might reach the end with very little dignity left.

Thankfully, I was in the company of a very patient photographer and course experts. The Fittest Family participants don’t have that grace. With a camera that tracks them in a circle around the obstacles, follows them under muddy nets and sees their enthusiastic faces become tarnished with mud, it is a competition that tests the mental and physical limitations of a family - not to mind the ego. 

For the past twelve seasons, the show has granted families the opportunity to be coached by some of Ireland’s best sportspeople. All vying for the winning spot, the families are tested to their physical limits, with previous years seeing family bonds tested to navigate muddy trenches, jump over hurdles in hay fields and battle with the Irish weather in a bid to win.

This year’s coaching line-up came in the form of former Olympian Sonia O’Sullivan, rugby favourite Donncha O’Callaghan, hurling legend Davy Fitz and camogie star Anna Geary.

O'Sullivan, who oversees my attempts at the course on the day, returned for her second year as a Fittest Family coach this year, having prepping her team in the nerve-wracking week leading up to her daughter Sophie’s 1500m race at the Paris Olympics.

“I probably didn’t get to do as well as I would have liked to last year [as a coach],” she reflects, “so it would be nice to get to the final final this year, rather than just the finals weekend.” 

All four coaches have families of their own, so learning to balance training with raising a family is a life challenge that they have all faced. They each bring unique experiences in balancing training, discipline and parenting.

“The most rewarding part is when it gets really hard - when it gets down to the eliminators”, O'Sullivan tells me.

Her reasoning?

“The families have been through pretty long and tough days and they’re at a stage where they don’t think they can even do it. It’s just amazing to see the energy. How they come together and put in their best effort.”

Relying on the Irish weather to stay stable enough for a day of limit-pushing challenges isn’t ideal. Luckily, the grounds of Kilruddery stayed dry for my attempt at the second half of the course which began with an attempt at running and jumping over massive wooden obstacles. When I say jumping, I mean clambering. An embarrassing effort on all accounts.

But, I got through it and moved on to the balance beam. While a horn sounded in the background for a poor, unassuming family to begin their race, I moved slowly and steadily across a thin plank of wood in the air. Although a better try than some of the other obstacles, I was faced with a disappointing reality that maybe I wasn’t as fit as I thought I was.

The Eliminator lives up to its namesake. If wooden hurdles and a balance beam weren’t enough, the 10ft wall left me covered in bruises for two weeks afterwards. Standing happily at five foot six, this vertical wall is nearly twice my height. I needed two sets of extra hands and five extra minutes before giving up and moving on to the penultimate task.

The Rat Tunnels (yes Rat Tunnels) look just like their name suggests. Black plastic tunnels balance on bales of hay to create dark and tightly spaced slides. Once getting through these, the vertical ramp comes into view. Families looking to get a chance at winning would be well to send their strongest GAA member up the ramp first. Taking full body strength and careful positioning, the only way I was getting up that ramp was multiple attempts and two hands to help me up to the top.

All that being said, I did manage to complete the ramp (with a lot of assistance), and the pride stayed with me for almost as long as the bruises did.

If you and your family have been following the show throughout this year's 12th series, all I can say is, be thankful that you’re the ones watching and not the poor souls taking part.

• The grand finale of Ireland's Fittest Family airs this Saturday at 6.30pm on RTÉ One