How to cope with a fear of flying during an uncertain time in aviation

The window seat is booked because I feel more in control when I’m able to look out the window, the seat number is memorised, the earphones and book for distraction are ready to go, and I’m at the gate with plenty of time before boarding because a last-minute rush to the gate would heighten my anxiety around flying.

Aviation accidents of recent have sparked online conversation, with those who work in aviation sharing how they are hurting for the family and friends of those who have lost their lives in recent mishaps and crashes and passengers experiencing extreme anxiety at the prospect of flying.

Something as special as flying now feels unpredictable for many.

As a nervous flyer, some years ago I took part in a course aimed at rationalising peoples’ fears of flying through some simple but very effective exercises and an experience in a flight simulator – tips that the nervous flyer can put into practice the next time they board a plane.

Welcome to Fly Fearless — here is your first exercise as we explore the concepts of altered realities,’ read the sheet in front of me as I sat in a room full of people with one very significant similarity: a fear of flying.

The first sentence on the sheet read, ‘flying is’ with a blank space for what I would describe my personal experience of flying as.

‘Stressful,’ I wrote, without any hesitation, before continuing with the exercise sheet.

The course director of the Fly Fearless course, Michael Comyn, proceeded to go through our answers.

He explained that the fear of flying is in fact not a fear, but a form of stress, and that the one-day course would focus on stress management strategies.

The course was my attempt to overcome my fear of flying, a fear which not a lot of people know about because I travel a fair amount, but a fear that drives the heart rate on my Fitbit up and keeps me awake the night before a flight.

Course participants had with them in the room a certified Crew Resource Management Instructor (CRMI) and pilots whose knowledge and insights put into perspective the differences between the rational brain and the emotional brain of those who have a fear of flying.

In an effort to define the fear, participants were asked to describe what makes them fearful of being in the air.

The outcome of the exercise confirmed that most people in the room were irrationally overthinking, particularly during turbulence.

During turbulence, the amygdala, the part of the brain that releases stress hormones, reacts.

This is why the first reaction of someone with a fear of flying is to grab the armrest and push their feet firmly down onto the cabin floor.

Instead, we learned to lift our feet off the floor and arms off the armrest and to go with the flow of the turbulence, rather than fight against it.

I was surprised to hear that the average distance the aircraft will drop during turbulence is only eight to 12 inches, despite it feeling a lot more due to the speed the aircraft travels.

Although the rational brain knows that air can hold a plane up, the primarily visual emotional brain can’t see anything holding the plane up, hence, the fear of falling from the sky.

For someone who had a fear of being 35,000ft in the sky, travelling 500 knots per hour in a tube-like structure — yes that was my line of thinking — here’s an interesting fact: a cloud weighs about 500 tonnes, the equivalent of 100 elephants. If air molecules can hold up one cloud weighing 500 tonnes then you can be sure it will hold up an 80-tonne aircraft.

One of the biggest comforts for me was gaining the knowledge of what each sound heard in the cabin means.

I am an overthinker and a worrier, to the highest degree. If I cannot put an explanation to something I am experiencing visually or aurally, I panic. I need to be able to make sense of a situation so that I am in control.

When flying, I feel as though I have no control and begin to question everything that happens around me — unfamiliar sounds and even facial expressions of cabin crew and fellow passengers.

Turns out, I’m not alone.

It was as though the course leaders had got inside my head, dug out all my worries and put a logical explanation to each one.

I found myself nodding my head in agreement and smiling at the fact that every other head in the room did just that. We were in this together.

The noises heard during a flight made sense when explained, from the cabin crew’s communication through a two-toned combination of high and low tones, to the ‘boing’ sound of the engine’s power pulling back at 4,000ft after takeoff to reduce noise pollution over built-up areas.

The journey a flight makes, from takeoff to landing, was explained in detail, including the degrees of the angles at which a plane turns.

The most enjoyable part of the course was experiencing the Simtech Boeing 737-800 Advanced Trainer Simulator which gave real-life insight into a pilot’s view of both inside and outside the cockpit.

The opportunity to sit next to an acting pilot in a real-life setting during different weather conditions such as fog and rain eased my issue with control.

The course also dealt with how to manage anxiety whilst flying and offered tips on how to relax whilst in the air.

We were shown a number of exercises which I have been putting into practice on every flight I’ve taken since completing the course.

Whilst waiting to board the plane, I found myself no longer creating a worst-case scenario in my head. Instead, I could hear Michael Comyn ensuring that fear is defined as false evidence appearing real.

Making my way up the steps to the plane, I am no longer scanning its outer shell for marks or scratches or wondering if the windy conditions would inhibit its ability to fly.

I now take the flight in stages, ticking off each sound as it occurs with the knowledge of what is happening around me.

I can now relate to what was once a strange and unfamiliar environment. Dare I say it, but I no longer have an irrational fear of flying. I do get nervous, especially at uncertain times like this, but having the knowledge that I now have about how a flight operates, has made it so much easier to fly.

• This article was first published in December 2018.